Our Grace
by catchmeinwonderland
Summary: Meet Grace, the youngest Halstead. Only eight when her mom died, she has been through a lot. Jay, being the oldest, hopes to make her life a little easier by having her move in with him. Follow Grace as she navigates through the Chicago universe while also navigating being a teenager. Involves Will and all of your favorite characters throughout all three shows!
1. All Over Dance Shoes

ALL OVER DANCE SHOES

"Did you call Will?" Jay asked me for the second time. I shook my head.

"I don't want to go home," I answered him.

"That wasn't the question," Jay responded from his chair. "I asked if you called Will."

"If I call Will he is going to tell me to go home, so no, I didn't," I snapped, turning away from him. Will always took Dad's side. He wasn't here. He didn't know how bad it really was.

"He needs to know what happened, Gracie," Jay tried to reason. I planted my eyes on the television screen and ignored him. If Will didn't care enough to believe me and come home, he didn't care enough to need to know.

"Fine," Jay sighed. "I'll call him," Jay resigned, pulling his phone from his back pocket and stepping out of the room. I thought I would finally have a moment to myself, but a nurse walked in right after he left.

"How are you feeling?" She asked while she put on the blood pressure cuff. I shrugged.

"My head hurts," I complained. The medicine they gave me when I was admitted was wearing off.

"I'll check with your doctor to see if we can do something about that, sweetie," the nurse – I think her name was Donna – promised. "Are you up for a visitor?" She asked once she finished documenting my vitals. My eyes flashed to her face.

"Who is it?" I panicked. It couldn't be Will because he was in New York and there was no way he was getting from New York to Chicago in the time Jay was on the phone with him. That meant there was only one other person who knew I was in the hospital and I definitely did not want to see him.

"Miss Beatrice. She's from the state," Donna informed. "She just wants to ask you a few questions."

"It will have to wait until Jay gets back," I groaned. He warned me there were going to be people who would want to talk to me about what happened and to make sure he was in the room with me when they were around.

"No problem," Donna smiled. "I'll let her know to wait a few more minutes and check in later. I'll be back too with some medicine once I get the doctor to clear it," she patted. I nodded. Praise Jesus for morphine.

I closed my eyes, hoping it would help with the pain. I could handle the fact my arm was all messed up, but a constant headache was driving me crazy. The lights and constant noises that went with being in the ER weren't helping, plus, nurses like Donna kept coming in and out, asking me questions.

* * *

"Hey," Jay whispered, peeking into the room. He probably thought I fell asleep or something, considering it was the middle of the night.

"Hey yourself," I grunted, maneuvering myself on the gurney with my functioning arm.

"Will wants to talk to you, but I told him only if you were up for it," Jay explained, covering up the phone. "You can say no," he insisted, squeezing my knee. I nodded, holding my arm out as best as I could.

"You need to go check with the nurses," I told Jay. "Donna just came in and said someone from the state wanted to talk to me."

"I'll take care of it," Jay kissed me on the forehead. "I promise."

"Good," I sighed, and held the phone up to my ear as best as I could. "Hi, Will," I muttered into the phone. I sounded pathetic.

"Gracie, baby, what happened?" Will stammered on the other line. He sounded exhausted.

"I'm fine, Will," I tried to reassure him.

"You have a concussion, a wrist fracture, and your back is covered in bruises. You could have died!"

"I've broken bones before and the bruising isn't that bad, just uncomfortable," I lied.

"You got lucky. Jay said Dad pushed you?" Will asked, absolutely horrified.

"It was an accident," I deflected. "It wasn't his fault."

"Was he drunk?" Will continued, ignoring my defense. I groaned. This was exactly why I didn't want to call Will.

"When isn't he?" I countered. "Look, it's over. I don't want to talk about it. Jay said I could stay with him, so it's over."

"You aren't going home?" Will seemed taken aback.

"How can I, Will?" I hissed into the phone. The last thing I needed was Jay to walk in with that lady from the state. "This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Jay's home now and he said he isn't leaving again. He has a good job with the CPD now and he is in a good place. I can't keep living in a place where I feel like one wrong move will get me killed."

"I didn't realize it was that bad, Gracie, I'm sorry," Will apologized into the phone.

"Yeah, whatever," I rolled my eyes. Will knew exactly how bad it was, he just didn't care enough.

"Gracie, I mean it. Tell Jay I can send him some money if he needs some help," Will offered. "We can try and get Dad into a program or something, get you home. It's been hard on him since Mom died. He needs us."

"Give me the phone," Jay grumbled from behind me. I didn't realize he was back already and was surprised to see he was alone. I handed him the phone and took a deep breath. Will was in La La Land if he thought a program was going to help Dad.

"She's thirteen, Will! What am I supposed to do, put her into foster care?" I heard Jay yell into the phone from outside the room. I tried to listen more closely, but Jay was much quieter now. A nurse probably yelled at him.

"I don't want to go to foster care," I mumbled quietly to myself, picking at the blanket.

 _I didn't mean for any of this to happen_ , I thought as my eyes dampened. I quickly tried to push the tears away, but they weren't leaving. I hated this.

"Hey," Jay rushed over when he came back in the room. He took my good hand and sat down on the gurney. "It's okay," He comforted.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, resting my head on his arm. He ran his fingers through my hair.

"None of this is your fault," Jay insisted. "Do you understand that? This is on Dad. This is Dad's fault. He needs help, Gracie."

"I shouldn't have forgotten to put my shoes away," I admitted. Jay sighed.

"Is that what this is about?" He asked. I nodded.

"Dad found my dance shoes," I explained. "He threw them out."

"We can get you new dance shoes," Jay mumbled into my hair. "You don't have to worry about that anymore."

"I don't want to go home," I repeated my earlier statement.

"Your home is with me now," Jay held me tighter. "I'm gonna take care of you."

 **A/N:** I hope you all liked this first chapter. I'm testing this out to see how it goes, but if people like it I'll make it happen. There is an intentional vagueness to this first chapter and I plan on filling in these holes as the story continues. Thank you for your time and please let me know what you think!


	2. Looking Up

LOOKING UP

I've been home from the hospital for a week. Jay only has a one bedroom, so he has been sleeping on the couch. He has already started to look for a two bedroom, but he said it might take a while. It didn't bother me; I didn't have much anyways.

"Grace!" I heard Jay shout from the kitchen. I walked out of "my" room and into the more common area of the apartment. He had some toast lying on the counter for me.

"What's up?" I asked him, taking a bite. I hadn't been eating much, but I was finally starting to get my appetite back.

"You're going back to school soon, so I gotta tell you this. I don't know who your friends are or who you talk to, so it's really important you listen," Jay paused to make sure I was focused. I nodded. "I'm in the middle of an undercover operation right now. I'm working with some nasty dudes, Gracie."

"Eva's Dad goes undercover sometimes," I pointed out. I didn't understand why this was a big deal.

"Right," Jay pointed out. "Just, please don't go around advertising that I'm a cop and that you're living with me. If this guy finds out…" Jay trailed.

"Bad news," I nodded. Eva had told me some stories.

"Exactly," Jay ruffled my hair, smiling. "This doesn't change anything, though."

"I know," I smiled back up at him. "Just be careful."

"I always am," He smiled. "By the way…you came out here smirking. What did you think I was going to tell you about?"

"Your new girlfriend," I stuck out my tongue. Jay rolled his eyes.

"No way," He chuckled. I nodded.

"For an undercover cop, you're really bad at keeping secrets," I chided, laughing. "You smile when you read her text messages."

"I smile when I read other peoples' text messages," Jay defended.

"Not a chance," I argued, still laughing. "You must really like her. I'm sorry if I put a damper on that."

"Hey, don't be sorry," Jay nudged. "I told her a little about what was going on. She understands."

"Good. It's nice to see you with someone," I pointed out, taking a sip of my orange juice. "You're cute when you're in love."

"Alright, that's enough from you," Jay groaned, peaking at his phone. "I've got to go. If you need anything, just buzz me."

"Gotcha, stay safe!" I called as he left the room. I didn't like it when Jay was undercover, but it didn't seem much more dangerous than his regular job, anyways.

* * *

 _"_ _Gracie, it's me, Dad._ _I need you to answer the phone. I am so sorry, baby, and I need you to come home. Will told me you were staying with Jay? He won't answer my calls either, that lowlife. Anyways, call me back. I love you."_

I stared at my phone. This has been my life since my mom died. Moments of violence followed days later by moments of remorse. It was like he didn't even know what he was doing. Time after time I allowed myself to forgive him. Hell, I was the biggest enabler of them all, but I couldn't anymore. Jay was right, if he was going to keep thinking I was Mom, it was too dangerous.

My dad was never a kind man. He was generous and he was surely a family man, but I don't think I ever would have described him as "kind." He was always quick to anger, but never violent. My brothers actually had a good relationship with him at one point. Me, not so much. He was all about the boys. He never really wanted a daughter, and because of that, I was never really able to please him. Especially when I started dancing.

My mom was a dancer up until the day she died. Will used to tell me how excited she was that she was having a little girl, because while Dad could stop her from putting her boys in dance classes he couldn't stop her from putting me in them. I looked just like her, too. My grandma used to show me pictures of my mom in the dance studio when she was little, just to point that out.

That was what Dad and I were fighting about last week. I reminded him too much of her, especially when I was dancing. When she died, he made sure to put a stop to it. I didn't want to stop, though. While it hurt him, it connected me to her. It was the only way I could ever pretend she was still alive, so I started sneaking around. Jay helped me pay for lessons and it was our little secret. I was always extra careful about where I kept my gear, until last week. I was tired and Dad said he was going to a bar to watch the baseball game. I didn't expect him to be home so soon and he found my dance bag. The rest is self-explanatory.

I could hear the door start to open and I panicked. Dad mentioned Will told him I was staying at Jay's. He wouldn't come here, would he? Does he even know where Jay lives?

The door opened to reveal Jay walking in, his arm in a sling. I raced over to help him with his bag.

"What happened?" I asked, placing his bag on the table and quickly returning.

"My undercover op ended," Jay answered, but I knew he wasn't telling me everything.

"Wait, did they find out you were a cop?" I whispered, afraid of the answer.

"I guess you could say that," Jay shrugged while he rummaged through the refrigerator.

"Jay, I can get you a drink," I offered. He shook his head.

"I'm fine. Your concussion is worse than my injury. I just needed some stitches. It's all good. Take a seat and take a load off, you have enough to worry about," Jay placated. I sighed and went back to my spot on the couch. Jay followed shortly after.

"You know, if you want the living room as your bedroom, just say the word. I'd be happy to take my bed back," Jay teased, noticing my pile of pillows and blankets.

"I can barely do anything, leave me alone," I mumbled, getting back into my cocoon. Jay laughed and pulled one of the blankets up.

"What did you do all day, then?"

"Well, I got a call from Dad," I admitted. Jay's eyes shot to mine and he got all serious.

"Are you kidding? When? What did he say?"

"Easy, tiger. Just his usual 'I'm sorry and I want you to come home' ordeal," I explained.

"Grace, you can't," Jay acknowledged sadly. "I mean, you can if you really want to-"

"Jay, I don't want to go home," I promised him and I could see him relax. "I don't care what he says. It's been getting worse. This was the final straw on that."

"Good," Jay nodded, taking a sip of his water.

"Did you ever hear back from that social worker?" I questioned softly. Jay nodded.

"Yeah, I talked to her and some lawyer buddies. He can't take you back, not if you want to be here," Jay explained.

"It's not kidnapping or anything? You won't get in trouble, right?" I worried. The last thing I wanted was for this to turn into some sort of custody battle.

"If you stay here permanently, I will file for guardianship," Jay pulled the chair closer to me. "You're thirteen. You're too young to worry about who needs to sign your permission slips or where you're going to sleep at night. You need consistency. But no, I won't get in trouble. You're old enough that if someone questions it, you get a say in what you want. You are in control of this whole situation, Gracie," he patted my head. "Are you okay with that?"

"It's just a lot," I sighed. "I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"No one is going to get hurt," Jay promised. "Will and I are going to try and convince Dad to get into a program or something, and we will see what happens."

"Can you apply for guardianship sooner rather than later?" I asked after a moment. Jay nodded.

"Of course. I'll do whatever you want me to," he said as he squeezed my hand.

After that, we sat in silence for a little while. I could tell Jay was thinking about a lot of adult stuff and I felt bad for bringing him into this. He just got back on his feet after his own rock bottom. He didn't need to deal with this.

"I didn't even tell you the best part about today," Jay smiled, pulling me back. I looked up at him.

"What is that?"

"I made intelligence," he smiled. I gave him a weird look.

"What does that mean?" I questioned him.

"It means I'll still be working weird hours, but it's a smaller group and we handle some of the biggest cases in Chicago. I'll share an office, so you can come visit whenever you want. There's an apartment available right down the street that I can now afford because my pay grade is about to get much higher. We'll even have an extra bedroom," Jay beamed.

"So you get your bed back?" I chuckled. Jay joined in.

"Thank God," he rolled his eyes. "Things are looking up for both of us, kid," he held out his water.

"Cheers to that," I clinked his glass with mine. He looked shocked that I knew what to do with that, but laughed it off anyway. He was right. Things were looking up.


	3. Intelligence

INTELLIGENCE

"Gracie, are you up?" Jay knocked on the door.

"Yeah, I'll be ready in a few minutes," I told him. I felt bad, he had to drive me all the way back to the south side to my school before heading off to his first day on the Intelligence Unit. It was in the complete opposite direction.

"I made you breakfast," Jay smiled, feeling like he finally accomplished something. I could tell he was excited.

"Thank you," I smiled back at him, taking a few pancakes and putting them on my plate. "You know, I can totally take the bus or something. I've done it before."

"From the north side?" Jay challenged. I nodded.

"From all over. I'm a city kid, Jay, it's what I do. Plus, my dance studio is on the north side, how do you think I got back and forth?" I explained to him.

"I don't like that," he sighed. "I can drive you. I made time for this."

"It's your first day. I don't want you to make a bad impression because of me," I admitted to him.

"Hey, I'm gonna make a great impression," Jay smirked. "Don't worry about it."

"If you say so," I sang, taking a bite of my pancakes. They were actually pretty good.

"I don't know how long I'm going to be after work, so just come to the station when school gets out. I'm at the 21st now. If you text me when you're on the way I can make sure to meet you downstairs," he explained. "Actually, just text me when you get out of school so I don't lose my mind waiting for you."

"Yes, Dad," I teased him.

"You're my responsibility now. I need you to be safe, Grace," he insisted.

"I will be," I promised him.

* * *

From my school, there was a 2:49 bus to the intersection by Jay's new work. Jay gave me money to take the bus, even though he didn't like it. He explained that once he got on a schedule and figured out what the deal was with his new unit, he would figure out a way to come pick me up.

"Can I help you, sweetie?" A woman at the front counter asked. She looked like my old librarian, who was a real pain in the ass. It caught me off guard for a moment.

"Uh, yeah, I'm looking for Detective Jay Halstead?" I explained. "He's in the Intelligence Unit," I added to make it seem like I knew what I was doing. The woman just nodded like I had ten heads anyways. I guess it made sense. What would a thirteen-year-old be doing unsupervised at a police station?

"I'll call up," she answered hesitantly. "You can take a seat over there," she pointed to a row of chairs across the way. I quietly thanked her and moved on with my business.

"Gracie!" Jay smiled when he saw me. He pulled me into a hug and grabbed my backpack for me.

"Wow, five-star service," I teased, hugging him back.

"Only the best for the best," he nudged. "How was school?"

"It was okay. I didn't get any headaches or anything, so that was great. I got to go take a nap in the nurse's office, which was even better," I smiled. Jay rolled his eyes.

"Don't get used to it," Jay warned. "It's called a transition. You'll be back to your old routine in no time."

"Don't remind me," I mumbled.

"So, yeah," Jay ran his hand through his hair. "Things are different here, but, uh, we aren't in the middle of a case right now, so it's actually a great time for you to visit. You can meet everyone, get accustomed to the space, and we'll be able to get out of here in a few hours. I was thinking we could go out?"

"Works for me," I chuckled. Jay was like a young kid who just got a shiny new toy. It was amusing to watch.

"Sweet, let's head up," he put his hand on my back as we turned and went up the stairs. There was a gate blocking the entrance, but Jay seemed unfazed. He just placed his hand on the scanner and it buzzed him up.

"Pretty cool, huh?" He chuckled, showing off.

"It's like you're a ninja," I teased.

"Oh man, I wish," Jay laughed.

Once we got upstairs, I could see what Jay meant by a shared office. There were four desks with various equipment on them, different monitors, a whiteboard, and various other materials around. There was a larger office in the back in addition to a snack room. There was another hallway that led off somewhere, but I didn't bother to ask about it.

"Hey, everybody?" Jay tried to get his new team's attention. To my surprise, everyone looked up at him. I wondered if he told them I was coming or not. "This is my little sister Grace. She's thirteen, so she's pretty independent, but if she gives you any problems just come find me and I'll take care of her," he smiled.

"Hey, Grace!" I smiled when I saw one face a recognized. Instantly, Mr. Dawson came and gave me a high-five. Jay was surprised that we knew each other.

"Grace is friends with my daughter, Eva," Mr. Dawson pointed out. "I'm surprised that has never come up."

"She's mentioned Eva, but I didn't realize she was your daughter," Jay shrugged. "Small world, I guess," he said, turning to me. "Antonio's the reason I got the job here, Gracie."

"Of course he is," I smiled. "Mr. Dawson's pretty great."

"You can call me Antonio, Grace, you know that," Mr. Dawson pointed out. I shook my head.

"Enough hoarding the girl, I want to meet Baby Halstead," Another woman pushed _Antonio_ out of the way. "I'm Erin. I'm your brother's new partner, so you've got to give me _all_ the dirt," she smiled.

"Do that, and you'll be grounded until you're eighteen," Jay warned, pointing from where he was leaving my backpack on his desk. I chuckled.

"It might be worth it," I whispered to Erin.

"I'm Jules, I have a daughter, Emmy, who is a little younger than you," a blonde woman introduced herself. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to remember all of these names.

"Please don't corrupt my sister," I could hear Jay begging from the back. He was definitely the new kid at school, but after only a day, it was obvious he felt at home here. These were really nice people.

"Oh, corruption is definitely in the plan," the shorter girl – Erin, I think – high fived the blonde. "We can go get our nails done and go to the mall, anything you want to get away from your brother," she smiled.

"I appreciate that," I told her.

"Gracie, there are two more people I want you to meet," Jay came back over, stealing me away from the women of the group. I waved goodbye as he pulled me towards the back where two older men were standing. They looked a little scary, but both smiled at me when we walked over.

"This is Alvin," Jay pointed to the one with the longer hair.

"It's nice to meet you, Grace," he held out his hand. It was rough, as if he had been through years of hard labor. I shook it hesitantly, but prayed he didn't notice.

"And this is my new boss, Sergeant Hank Voight," Jay pointed to the other man. He also gave me a smile, but bent down to my level.

"Hank," the man said, holding out his hand. I shrank back into Jay, trying to hide how much his voice freaked me out. I wasn't expecting it to sound so gravely, but I guess I would have to get used to it. He seemed like a nice enough guy. I reached out and shook his hand.

"Your brother explained what was going on," he continued. "I want you to know that you have a home here. Anytime you need a space, this can be it. Trudy knows to buzz you up."

"Trudy…?" I turned to Jay. I wasn't familiar with that person.

"Sergeant Platt, she's the woman at the front desk downstairs. I'll introduce you before we leave," Jay explained. I nodded.

"That means a lot to me, sir," I tried to sound all official. Hank nodded.

"Here's my card too," he held out a piece of paper. "Hold onto it."

"Thank you, sir," I looked over at Jay. He looked uncomfortable with the exchange, but I wasn't sure why. This was his boss.

"Alright, Jay, get her settled and then get back to work," Hank instructed. Jay nodded.

"Absolutely, sir," he smiled and carted me off again.

* * *

I spent the rest of the afternoon in the snack room doing my homework. Everyone was in and out – Jay trying to make sure I wasn't bored and everyone else trying to get dirt on Jay. Erin seemed nice enough, she actually helped me out with a few math problems. Jules showed me some pictures of her kids and said once it started snowing out, she would take me sledding with them. I appreciated how they all made me feel like a part of their family.

"Grace," Jay stuck his head in the room around 4:15. I looked up. "We caught a case, I've got to go," he walked over to me. "Here's some money for a pizza or something. I'm so sorry," he apologized, pulling me into a hug. "If it gets to be too late and I can't catch a break, I'll have a detail drive you home. Make sure you lock all the doors and-"

"Text you if anything seems off. I'm good Jay, go do your job!" I shooed him off.

"I love you!" He called as he ran out the door.

"I love you, too!" I called back to him, sighing. I was really looking forward to going home soon.

 **A/N:** Thank you all so much for your support! I'm ecstatic you're enjoying this story because I am loving writing it! Peace!


	4. Lonely

LONELY

Jay working in the Intelligence Unit was tough. His schedule was even more unpredictable than before and when he was working a case, I barely saw him. On the upside, I had somewhere to go when he was working. I was always welcome at the district building, and Trudy and I had actually bonded a little bit.

I spent more time with Eva as well, since her dad was on a similar schedule. She showed me how to get to her mom's bakery from both my school and the district and we often met up and walked there. If Jay was working a case, Mrs. Dawson would know about it and invite me to stay at her house. It was a working system.

"Hey, Gracie, grab your bag," Jay said, poking into the break room where I was doing some homework.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked him. He chuckled.

"Nothing's wrong, you goof. We're going on an adventure," he smiled, winking. I groaned. Adventures were never a good thing when it came to my big brother.

* * *

"Why are there so many stairs?" I complained. "Where are we going?"

"Quit whining," Jay teased. "You're a dancer, you can handle it."

"Yeah, I'm a dancer, not Jillian Michaels. We don't do stairs," I coughed. I was so out of shape.

"Next time, we'll take the elevator," Jay promised, giving me a pat on the back. "For your maiden voyage, you needed the full experience."

"You're so kind," I mumbled. He just kept laughing at me.

"This is it, good old 304," he smiled, unlocking the door. I looked at him curiously. We went inside and he encouraged me to look around.

The apartment was spacious enough. There was no furniture in it, so I wasn't sure what we were doing here, but other than that it looked nice. There was a separate kitchen area from the living area, which wasn't the case currently.

I wandered down the hall to see the apartment had not only two bedrooms, but three, which was very intriguing. One was hardwood while the other two had this God awful purple carpet. Again, they were spacious enough.

"How do you like it?" Jay asked like a child on Christmas. He was so excited.

"It's nice. I don't like the purple carpet, though. It's weird," I pointed out. "Who's moving in?" I asked him, peeking out the window. The view was really nice.

"Well, if you like it…we are," he smiled. I whipped my head around to face him.

"A three-bedroom, Jay?" I questioned. I didn't think he had the money for this. Jay nodded, smiling.

"One for you, one for me, and a spare in case you want to have a friend sleepover or we need extra storage space," he explained. "You get your own closet, your own bathroom, and we can even get rid of the purple carpet if you want," he chuckled. I tried to wipe the tears away, but I couldn't get them before Jay caught me.

"Hey, what's wrong," he pulled me towards him, rubbing my back. "You can keep the carpet if you love it that much," he teased.

"Thank you," I choked out. "You didn't need to completely uproot everything for me."

"We needed a bigger space, Gracie," Jay crouched down so he could look me in the eye. "You're my little sister. I would do anything for you," he promised, holding out his pinkie. I took it and he pulled me into a hug.

"So you like it?" He asked me. I nodded.

"I love it," I smiled, high-fiving him. He did a good job.

* * *

"What color do you think you want to paint your room?" Erin asked me, pouring herself a cup of coffee. I didn't have school today, so I just came in with Jay this morning instead of hanging out at the apartment. It was still pretty early, but not too bad. I brought things to keep me occupied.

"Probably just white. I can put some of those paint design stickers on it if I want something fancy," I pointed out.

"That's a good point," she nodded as Jay came in. He ruffled my hair and pointed at Erin.

"That stuff will kill you now, apparently," he argued as he grabbed a cup of his own. "I saw an article online," he added. She just rolled her eyes.

"Well," she sighed, "that is last on the very long list of things I am concerned about," she pointed out to him. Jay held out his mug to her and gave her his puppy dog eyes.

"Please," he begged, and I tried my best to hide my giggling. He was such a child.

"Caitlin was asking about you," she whispered to him, trying to make sure I couldn't hear.

"Who's Caitlin?" I teased him. Jay just glared at Erin and mouthed 'thank you' to her. Erin chuckled.

"None of your business," Jay smiled back, turning towards Erin again. "Tell her I say 'hi,'" he mentioned.

"Hi, or _hi_ ," I continued to torment him. He was starting to blush.

"Hi," he confirmed. "Enough from you," he warned.

"So there's no interest on your part," Erin deciphered.

"Super sweet," Jay pointed out. "But it's my loss," he concluded, sipping his coffee.

"Hey, have you guys seen Voight around?" One of the techs – I think his name was Sheldon – interrupted.

"No, why?" Erin asked him. Sheldon just shook his head and walked out. Erin and Jay shrugged it off and started to walk out, but Erin stopped him.

"You," Erin pointed at Jay, "I am never setting you up on a date again."

"What, why not?" Jay protested. I burst out laughing.

"'Cause you don't know a good thing when you see it," she argued, finally walking out.

"Dude," I laughed. He just shook his head.

"Shut it," he warned and I turned back to the book I was reading. I would definitely have to talk to Erin later and get some dirt on this dating thing my brother was doing.

* * *

It wasn't long before the team was pulled away to go deal with something and I was left alone again. Eva was "working" at the bakery today, so hanging out with her was out.

 _Is the shop open?_ I texted the owner of the dance studio, Zak. He responded almost instantly.

 _If you want to make a few bucks and do inventory_ , He responded. I chuckled. Zak knew a lot about my home situation and even though I wasn't legally allowed to work for him, he was always quick to give me credit where credit was due and give me some spare cash for helping him out.

 _No school and Jay is working. You just might have a deal,_ I texted him back. I looked and there was a brown line stop right down the street. I could be there in an hour.

* * *

"What's up, munchkin," Zak greeted me as he let me in. "You ready to work hard tonight?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I haven't been around," I apologized. The concussion put a damper in my rehearsal schedule.

"Don't worry about it. Does your brother know you jumped ship to come here?"

"I'll send him a text," I promised. I meant to leave a note, but I forgot. "What do you need me to do?"

"Just go through the new shipment of shoes and line 'em up in the store. Parents are going to want to start buying costumes for the holiday recital and we need to be ready," he explained.

"What's Brooke up to?" I asked him. Usually, she helped him with this stuff.

"She's taking it easy," he smiled. "We just found out we are having a baby," he explained.

"Congratulations!" I cheered for him. "How far along is she?"

"Five weeks," he nodded. "She's with her mom today so she can tell her. She'll be back later this week."

"That's amazing, Zak," I smiled. I was happy for him. He and Brooke were going to be amazing parents.

It took me about two hours to finish all of the inventory Zak wanted me to and by the time I finished, the first round of dance classes were starting for the day. I wasn't allowed to do much work while classes were going on, mainly because of the whole illegal labor thing. Fortunately, it was a family dance studio and a lot of people were familiar with the fact that I helped Zak and Brooke out a lot, particularly with busy work. I had been mistaken for their daughter on multiple occasions and honestly, there have been times when I wished that were true.

"Grace, your phone is ringing!" One of the girls who worked at the front desk, Hannah, called to me. I must have left it there while I was working earlier.

"Thank you," I whispered to her. As soon as I saw the name on the caller I.D I knew I was in deep shit.

"Hello?" I whispered, walking outside. _Please don't yell at me_ , I begged in my head.

"Gracie? Where are you?" Jay yelled from the opposite line.

"I'm at the studio. I meant to leave a note and then Zak told me to text you, but I completely forgot and I am so sorry," I rambled into the phone. I hoped he wasn't too mad.

"Gracie, you can't just go running off like that anymore!" He scolded. "Where is the studio? I'm coming to pick you up."

"Why? Jay, I'm fine, and it is better than sitting at the district," I complained.

"Grace, I need you to be at the district right now," he said quietly into the phone. "I need to talk to you."

"Why? What's wrong?" Something really bad must have happened for him to get so serious. I could hear him sigh on the other line.

"Gracie…" he trailed. I could tell he really didn't want to do this on the phone, but I wasn't really giving him much of a choice. "Jules died."


	5. Missing (You)

MISSING (YOU)

"It's going to be okay, Eva," I whispered to my friend over the phone. It's been a terrible day for both of us. No sooner did I get back to the district to see Jay, Mrs. Dawson called Mr. Dawson and told him that Diego was missing. Eva was with her mom at home and I was under house arrest at the district until they closed this case. She had no idea about Jules.

"Grace, what if they don't find him? Chicago's a huge city," Eva cried into the phone.

"This team is the best in Chicago," I tried to tell her. I tried to believe it myself. They had to find Diego.

"Gracie, who are you talking to?" Jay poked into the break room, interrupting our conversation.

"It's Eva,' I sighed. "I called her, I'm sorry," I explained.

"It's fine, but if she says she needs space you need to give it to her," Jay directed. I nodded. I told Eva I needed to go and hung up, but I couldn't let go of my phone. I could tell Jay needed to leave, but I also really needed my brother.

"Why do bad things keep happening?" I choked out. I felt bad. I was trying so hard to hold everything together, but I just couldn't. First my dad, then Jules, and now Diego? It was too much.

"I don't know, Gracie," Jay pulled up a chair. I could see the new guy waiting for him so they could leave.

"You need to go, I'm sorry," I apologized, wiping my eyes. "Go find Diego," I tried to brave a smile. Jay gave a soft smile.

"You're the strongest person I know, Grace Halstead," he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "I love you. _Please_ stay here," he begged. I nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised him. I didn't really feel safe going anywhere at this point anyways.

"Good girl," he smiled and headed out.

* * *

"Hey Grace," one of the officers, Officer Burgess, smiled as she walked into the break room. "This is Gabby, Antonio's sister and Eva, Antonio's daughter. Ladies, this is Grace, Detective Halstead's sister," Officer Burgess introduced us all. I smiled and pulled Eva into a hug.

"How are you doing?" I asked. She shrugged, not saying anything.

"So, I didn't know Jay had a sister," Gabby tried to lighten the mood up a little bit.

"I didn't know you knew my brother," I countered.

"I co-own one of his favorite bars," she smirked.

"It also looks like you're one of his girlfriends," I smirked back, getting a little chuckle out of Eva.

"One of them?" Gabby gasped, joking now, seeing that her niece was finally relaxing.

"My brother's a playah," I teased. "Seriously, you two dated?"

"Yeah, I'm a Paramedic at 51," Gabby explained. "My brother is Antonio and that's how Jay got into Intelligence."

"So you met him while he was undercover?" I asked her. She nodded.

"Yes," she chuckled, remembering something.

"Well, I guess he has a good excuse for not telling you about me, then," I mumbled, a little annoyed, but also relieved that he wasn't just trying to hide me from his social life.

* * *

"Here we go," Another officer, Officer Atwater, said as he threw down a bunch of bags of chips on the table.

"Thanks, but, I'm not hungry really," Eva told him.

"What have you guys heard?" Gabby asked after checking if her brother was out of earshot.

"We can't really say anything except the whole CPD is doing everything they can," Kim explained sadly. Eva started to cry, so we all turned to look at her. Kevin took the seat across from her and looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't.

"The last thing I told Diego was that he was annoying," she cried. It hit me hard. I probably told Jay he was annoying at least three times a day and I couldn't even remember the last time I said something nice to Will.

"What was he doing?" Officer Atwater asked.

"Shooting laser bullets at me with a Lego gun," Eva said as if it were the stupidest thing in the world.

"We'll find him," Officer Atwater said. "And he's gonna annoy you for years to come. I promise." Both Gabby and I shot him a look. He wasn't supposed to say things like that.

 _I love you,_ I quickly texted Jay.

 _I love you too, Bug. Hang in there,_ Jay messaged back almost immediately.

* * *

"Gracie?" I heard Will's voice on the other line. He sounded off, but I just really needed to hear it. It was late, I was tired, and I had been trying to build up the courage for this for at least two hours.

"Grace, are you okay?" Will asked, getting more concerned.

"I love you," I whispered. "I love you."

"Okay…I love you too, what's wrong? Where's Jay?" He continued to question.

"My friend Eva's Dad…Mr. Dawson…his partner died today," I told him. "She was a good cop, really nice. She told me she would take me sledding once it snowed."

"I'm really sorry to hear that, Gracie," Will sighed. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," I started crying. "She died and then Eva's brother went missing. She said the last thing she told him was that he was annoying."

"Gracie…" I could hear Will shaking his head from the other line.

"I was mad at you," I mumbled. "I didn't even want to call you when I was in the hospital. You always take his side," I cried. "But that doesn't mean I don't love you."

"I love you too, Gracie, don't worry about it," Will tried to comfort me from New York.

"People die, they die all the time," I continued to cry. "I don't want you to die thinking I hate you."

"Gracie, listen, take a breath with me," Will paused, taking a breath. "I know you love me and I'm not going to die, okay?"

"Okay," I sniffled.

"Is Jay home?" Will asked. I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me.

"I'm still at the district. I don't know where they went," I told him.

"Do you want me to stay on the line with you until he comes back?" Will asked. I couldn't ask him to do that.

"I'm okay, I just really wanted to hear your voice," I explained.

"Okay, I'll keep my phone on me. Call me back if you need to, okay?" Will asked me.

"Okay," I promised him.

"And tell Jay to call me when you two get home," Will added.

"Please don't yell at him," I begged. I knew Will wasn't thrilled with the idea of me being left alone so much.

"I'm not going to yell at him, I just want to make sure you're good," Will promised. "I love you, Gracie."

"I love you, Will," I whispered and hung up the phone, finally letting myself cry out all of the frustration from the past hours.


	6. Ben

BEN

 _"Hey, Gracie, I know these past few days have been tough for you and I don't want to make it worse, but I thought I'd let you know that it's Ben's birthday today. We've got a case, so I won't make it for dinner, but_ I'll _drop some stuff off. I love you,"_ I hit delete on the voice mail. As if _I_ forgot about Ben's birthday. Not a chance, Jay.

"Who's Ben?" One of my friends, Jackie asked

"None of your business," I snapped at her. It wasn't her fault, but I didn't want her to ask any more questions. "I've got to go," I told her, getting up off the swing.

"Is your brother really going to be that mad that you didn't go right to the district after school?" She questioned again. It was the one annoying thing about her.

"I'm not going to the district, I've got some stuff to take care of. Stop being nosy," I snapped at her again. Hopefully this time, she would get the hint.

"Alright, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she shrugged, putting her hands in her pockets and walking off.

"See you tomorrow, Jackie," I called to her as she walked away. She was a good kid.

* * *

It took me a while to go inside. I knew that Gail would be busy baking a cake and Danny would be sitting at the table with a glass of scotch staring at a picture of Ben. It wasn't something I was eager to be a part of, but I knew I had to. I took a deep breath and crossed the street, ringing the doorbell before my nerves got the best of me.

"Gracie!" Gail cheered when she opened the door. I could tell she had been crying, but she was definitely happy to see me.

"Hi Mrs. Corson," I pulled myself together and welcomed her embrace. It made today a little easier having Jay and I around.

"Oh stop that, you know better than to call me Mrs. Corson," she smirked.

"Sorry, habit," I mumbled.

"Danny, look who stopped by!" Gail sang pulling me into the dining room. Danny perked up instantly as well, even feigning a smile for a few seconds.

"Why hello there, Ms. Grace," Danny nodded, standing up and giving me a handshake. "Your brother must be teaching you well, you're getting better at that," he smiled.

"I learned from the best, that's for sure," I chuckled, going along with the lie. I didn't want to mention that it was my dad who emphasized the importance of a solid handshake, not Jay.

"Come take a seat, sweetie," Gail crooned. "I'm just getting ready to start baking. Your brother called and insisted on bringing dinner, so he should be here soon," she informed me. I nodded along absently and instead focused on an old picture of myself and Ben.

"I can't believe it's been seven years," I whispered to myself.

"That is one of my favorite pictures," Gail sighed. "I still have the one where you and Ben pretended to get married, but it's in the attic somewhere."

"Pretended to get married? We had Will officiate the entire thing. It was completely legit," I smiled, remembering the day. It was one of those perfect spring days when all of the flowers were blooming and it wasn't too muddy. Allie brought Ben to our house for a playdate while Jay and Allie babysat. Ben proposed to me and we went all the way. Jay walked me down the aisle while Allie took pictures and Will officiated. We were obsessed with each other.

"He always said you were his favorite girl," Gail squeezed my shoulder before walking off. I followed her, not wanting to think about that too much.

* * *

Gail was just putting the cake on the table when we heard the door knock.

"That must be your brother," Gail smiled, turning to go get the door. Danny was staring at another picture of Ben. I thought about turning the picture over, but then decided against it. It wasn't my place.

"Hey, Gracie. How long have you been here?" He asked, seeing me in the living room.

"A few hours," I explained to him. "I went to the park with Jackie after school and then I came here."

"No problem," Jay shrugged. "Are you hungry?" I nodded, even though Gail had been feeding me snacks all afternoon.

"Atta girl," he smirked, moving the bag to one hand so he could wrap his free arm around my shoulders.

"Hey Danny," Jay greeted, walking into the dining room. It seemed to pull Danny out of his gaze and bring him back to life again, similar to his reaction to seeing me earlier.

"Hi Jay," he answered, sitting up in his seat. Jay started rummaging through his bag of goodies.

"Pastrami for Danny," he recalled, handing Danny his sandwich. "Smoked Turkey for Gail," he handed Gail her sandwich, to which she jokingly acted as if it was too heavy. Jay chuckled before handing me my sandwich.

"Ah, we're going to be eating this until Thanksgiving!" Gail teased.

"Right," Jay went along with it, patting Gail on the back.

"Hey, let me get you a sandwich," Gail said, noticing Jay didn't have a meal for himself. Jay waved her off.

"No, I can't," He declined. "I, uh, gotta run," he explained. I gave him a weird look. This was something we were all supposed to do together.

"Oh," Gail whined, disappointed he wasn't staying. "Well, let me at least give you a slice of cake to go," she insisted. Danny stood up looking like he wanted to say something, but just shook his head and left the room. Gail looked at his empty spot and sighed.

"It's always a tough day for him," Gail explained, not wanting us to feel offended. "He won't eat it," she looked at the cake. "I just end up throwing it out."

"Small slice," Jay conceded, feeling bad for Gail. She smiled and scurried off to get him a container.

"Hey, we should give them some space," Jay whispered to me once Gail was out of earshot. "I'll give you a ride home."

"Where are you going?" I questioned him.

"Work stuff," he answered. I could tell he was lying, but I let it go. Today was a little weird for all of us.

"Don't go getting yourself into trouble," I mumbled.

"I won't," he said, but I didn't believe him. He groaned. "Gracie, it's fine," Jay ruffled my hair, smirking.

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed. It better be.


	7. Nice

NICE

"Hey Gracie," Erin smiled, greeting me as I walked into the squad room. "How was dance?"

"How'd you know I was at dance?" I questioned her. Jay was nowhere to be seen, and I was pretty sure no one else cared about my schedule.

"Jay filled me in," she stood up, shrugging. "Monday is Acro, Wednesday is Contemporary, and Thursday is Modern, Jazz, and Lyrical."

"I can't believe you have all of that memorized," I said in awe. "I can barely keep it straight myself."

"It sounds like you're training to be a real superstar," Erin encouraged. "It's really great."

"My mom was a dancer. After two boys, she had me dancing before I could even walk," I joked, but it was more truth than anything else.

"You have another brother?" Erin asked, shocked.

"Yeah, but he lives in New York," I explained. "Do you know where Jay is? He usually doesn't make me come here after dance."

"Yeah, that's my fault, actually," Erin admitted. "I told him to have you stop by. I have a few questions for you."

"Oh, okay," I mumbled softly. I wracked my brain trying to figure out if I fucked up at any point while I was here. I tried to stay within my boundaries, because I knew Voight was doing me a favor, but there was always a good amount of uncertainty.

"Come on in here," Erin ushered me into the back room, pulling out a seat. I took a deep breath, knowing this was going to be serious.

"Erin, what's going on?" I asked her, wringing my fingers under the table.

"Look, this is probably overstepping my boundaries, but…I was where you are. I was a lost kid, not really having a home and hating school. I had a lot of issues and I got really lucky because I got out. I don't think it's a big secret that south side schools are going to keep you in a place you don't want to be," Erin explained.

"When Hank pulled me out, he cut a deal with a friend over at St. Ignatius and got me in. You're thirteen, you're going to be looking at High Schools soon…I just thought you should know that it's an option if you want it. You're a smart kid, Gracie, I'd hate to see you lose your potential," she continued.

"That's the fancy prep school a few blocks over?" I asked her. I didn't know a lot of kids who went there, but I knew I wasn't supposed to be one of them. No one from Canaryville ever went to fancy prep schools.

"Yes," Erin nodded. "You'd still be nearby if you wanted to come here after school, but they also have a lot of really cool extra-curricular activities," she encouraged. "I can bring you by to meet a few of the teachers I had and introduce you if you'd like, give you a chance to get acclimated to the school."

"Do I need to apply?"

"Well, yes," Erin pulled out a pile of paper. "There's also an entrance exam that they want you to take, but I meant what I said, Gracie. You're smart. If you want in, you can get in. We can figure the rest out later."

"We?" I smirked. It wasn't a secret that she and Jay were getting closer and closer.

"I like you, Gracie. You're a good kid and you've got a good thing going for you right now. I don't want to see you fall away from that."

"I'll think about it, Erin," I smiled, grateful I had someone like her in my life. "Thank you."

"Anytime," she smiled, squeezing my shoulder and heading back into the squad room. I picked up some of the brochures she laid out and looked at the pictures. St. Ignatius was a dream school for me and Erin was right, it was a step up from where I was now. They also had a competitive dance team that I knew I would be able to qualify for. For the first time in a long time, I was excited about something.

* * *

"Can I ask you a question?" Jay asked me during dinner a few nights later. It was a rare night that we weren't eating take-out at the station and it felt nice to just be able to be home and relax.

"Shoot," I told him, stuffing another piece of chicken in my mouth.

"What do you think about Erin?"

"Excuse me?" I coughed, damn near choking on my chicken.

"What do you think about Erin?" He smiled.

"She's nice," I smiled back, remembering our earlier conversation. "She told me she thinks I should apply for St. Ignatius."

"Really?" Jay raised his eyebrows, surprised.

"Yeah," I nodded. "She says she has an in for me if I take the entrance exam and apply and all that shit."

"Watch your mouth," Jay chastised. "That's really nice of her."

"Hence why I said she was nice," I smirked.

"Do you _want_ to go to St. Ignatius?" Jay asked. I shrugged.

"They have a dance team," I pointed out. "They were finalists at IDTA in 2013. Erin said that she could introduce me to some of her old teachers and tour campus with me if I wanted, too, just so I don't feel completely lost once I go there."

"So, you do want to go to St. Ignatius," Jay chuckled. "I'm glad you're excited, but if we're going to do this, we have got to look at financials, bug. Private school isn't cheap."

"They have scholarships I can apply for," I inserted. "I can also pick up some classes at the dance studio since I will be getting a lot more training from the school."

"I didn't say it was a 'no'," Jay insisted, "I just said we need to look at the tuition. I'd really like to make this work for you, Grace, I think you deserve it."

"Thank you," I smiled, knowing I was probably going to get my way. The more I looked at the school, the more I could see myself being a part of it.

"Erin likes you, by the way," I added after a few moments of silence. "She's about as good as you are when it comes to hiding her emotions."

"What do you mean?" Jay asked, all ears.

"When we were talking about this earlier, she said 'we' would make this work. She may be tough on the outside, but she definitely likes you."

"I wouldn't get too attached, Grace," Jay warned. "She's got her own set of problems and a big, fat 'Do not touch' sign."

"I'm just saying," I shrugged. "If you were asking what I thought about her because you wanted to know if she was worth investing your time in…you have my blessing."

"You're too smart for your own good, you know that?" Jay shook his head and returned to his dinner. I just sat in my chair and smiled. Operation: Erin and Jay was a go.


	8. Alibi

ALIBI

 _I woke up because Mama and Jay were arguing. I rubbed my eyes, crawled out of bed, and walked over to Will's room._

 _"Will, are you awake?" I whispered into the darkness. There was nothing. I went over to his bed to find it empty._ Oh yeah, _I remembered. He slept at a friend's house last night._

 _I was scared to go downstairs, but I quietly crawled down them. I didn't think Daddy was home, because Jay kept yelling. Daddy would have stopped him from yelling if he was home because it wasn't good for Mama since she was sick._

 _"Gracie, is that you, baby?" I heard Mama say from the kitchen. I rubbed my eyes again and walked down the hallway until I found where she and Jay were standing. Both of their eyes were red and puffy and Jay was curled in a ball on the floor. Mama pulled me into her arms, stroking my hair._

 _"Is Jay okay?" I asked, worried about my big brother. I had never seen him cry before. "Is he sick too?"_

 _"No, no, baby," Mama comforted me. "We just…we just got some very sad news this morning and we were talking about it."_

 _"You were yelling," I corrected. Daddy always said to be honest. Jay looked at me for a long time before making a weird noise and leaving the kitchen._

 _"Is Jay mad at me?" I whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear._

 _"No, honey, of course not," Mama comforted as she crouched down on my level. "Honey…the sad news we got…it's about your friend Ben."_

 _"Ben is my husband," I corrected her again, which made Mama make a strange noise before covering her face. Her chin started moving weirdly and she started crying again. "I'm sorry!" I apologized. "I didn't mean to make you cry, Mama!"_

 _"It's not your fault," Mama sighed, trying to smile. I was too smart, though. I knew it was fake. "Honey...Allie called us this morning to tell us that Ben died last night," Mama explained. I knew what death was because Nicole told us about it at school. It was when people left Earth and never came back._

 _"So I'm never going to see him again?" I missed Ben. It had been a long time since I saw him. I kept asking Jay if he could text Allie to bring Ben over, but I don't think he ever did. Now, I would never see him again._

 _"Not for a while, baby. Remember when we talked about Heaven in church?" Mama asked me._

 _"Yes. It's where God and Jesus live," I recited from CCD. We were learning all about Heaven and the other place that I wasn't allowed to say, even though the boys said it all the time._

 _"Well, Ben is with them now. Someday, hopefully a long, long, very long time from now, you can see him again," Mama did her weird fake smile thing again. I didn't like it. Her eyes looked too sad._

 _"Chicago PD!" Someone knocked on the door. I was confused. Why were the police at my house?_

 _"Chicago PD!" They knocked again._

* * *

"Chicago PD!" I heard for a third time, but this time, it wasn't in my dream. I rubbed my eyes and rolled out of bed, moving a little more quickly than usual. I slept over Eva's last night and Mrs. Dawson drove me home early this morning before Eva's soccer practice. Jay left for work within minutes of me being home, so I crawled into bed and went back to sleep.

"I'm coming!" I yelled before they barged the door open. _I swear to God, Jay if you got shot again…_ I thought. I didn't need that in my life right now.

I opened the door to reveal two plain clothed detectives who showed me their badges. I was confused.

"Are you Grace Halstead?" One of them asked. I nodded carefully. I wasn't comfortable talking to them without Jay here.

"I'm Detective Mullahy and this is Detective Danvers. Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?"

"Is my brother okay?" I asked instead of answering her. If I was going to do anything, I needed to know that my brother was okay.

"That's actually what we're here to talk to you about, ma'am," the other detective – Danvers, I guess - said. "He's okay, we just have to ask you a few questions about what he's been up to."

"I think I should call him…" I motioned towards my phone, already in my hand. Did my Dad decide to call child services? Was there some kind of investigation on how often Jay left me alone? I was starting to panic and I really needed to call Jay.

"We actually can't allow you to do that," the Detective Mullahy said, glancing down the hallway as a neighbor entered their apartment. "May we please come in?" She asked again.

"I'm a minor," I put my foot down. "I get to have an adult here with me, or a lawyer, or something," I argued. I looked at my phone, which was now buzzing. It was Jay. I answered it before the detectives could say anything.

"Jay, why the hell are there two detectives trying to interrogate me in our apartment?" I hissed into the phone. Jay groaned on the other line.

"Put them on," Jay directed. I shrugged and handed the phone over to the woman. I tried to listen in on what they were talking about, but I could barely make out Jay's voice. The best I could get was one way communication.

"Here you go, Grace," Detective Mullahy handed me my phone back. "Keep it on speaker phone," she directed.

"Jay, what is going on?" I asked him, starting to get freaked out.

"Gracie, listen, I'm on my way home, but they aren't going to let you give a statement while I'm in the room. I could probably get Erin to come and sit with you if you want-"

"A statement about what? Am I in trouble? Is it because I ran away?" I started firing questions into the phone.

"No, no Grace, no," Jay insisted. "They're going to ask you questions about me. This is about me. Just…no matter what you hear, you tell the truth. I don't need you to try to protect me, I'm good. It's going to be okay," Jay promised. "I'll be home soon."

"Okay," I acknowledged. "I love you."

"I love you, too. See you soon," Jay said before hanging up. I glared in the direction of the detectives who were all but breathing down my throat.

"Ask away, I guess," I permitted them, grabbing a glass of water from the refrigerator.

"So, Detective Halstead is your brother?" Danvers asked now. He was an idiot, apparently.

"Yes, hence why we are in this mess," I said, knowing I was being fresh. The two detectives shared a look with each other.

"What is your brother's relationship with Lonnie Rodiger?" I dropped my glass, not expecting to hear that name in my house.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, quickly cleaning up the glass with a paper towel. The detectives both moved to help me clean up, but I was able to handle most of it. "We don't really talk about him around here."

"Why is that?" Detective Mullahy questioned.

"He is a sexual predator," I answered. "I don't know much more about him other than Jay told me to stay away from him. Fitting, since I am a thirteen-year-old girl."

"Of course," Danvers nodded. "Where was Detective Halstead last night?"

"I don't know," I answered, suddenly realizing that I had no answer. "I slept over my friend's house, I wasn't home." The detectives shared another glance that made me more nervous than anything else.

"Thank you so much for your time, Grace," Detective Mullahy rested her hand on mine. I pulled my hand back, not expecting the contact. I couldn't shake the feeling that I messed up somehow.

The door flew open and Jay rushed in, completely out of breath. He looked shocked, like he didn't expect the detectives to still be here.

"Detective Halstead," Detective Mullahy nodded towards him. She nodded towards Detective Danvers and they left the apartment, mumbling goodbyes on their way out.

"What happened, what did they ask you, what did you tell them?" Jay began an interrogation of his own.

"They came knocking on the door, you apparently gave them permission to talk to me, and they started asking about Lonnie Rodiger," I explained. Jay ran his fingers through his hair. It had clearly been a stressful day.

"Did they ask you where I was last night?" He asked once he pulled himself together.

"Yes," I nodded. Jay looked at me as if he wanted more.

"What did you say?" He had his hand over his eyes so I couldn't see his face.

"I said I didn't know," I whispered. Jay didn't hear me.

"What? Grace, I can't hear you?" He came closer. I didn't want him to be mad at me.

"I said I didn't know!" I said louder.

"Grace…" Jay cringed.

"You told me to be honest!" I made a feeble attempt at defending myself. "You said no matter what to tell the truth, and I did! I was at Eva's last night, Jay, how was I supposed to know what you were doing? I'm not your babysitter!" I yelled at him, getting angrier. Whatever he did, it wasn't my fault.

"You're right, you're right," Jay sighed. "Calm down, you're going to give yourself a heart attack," Jay pushed me down into one of the chairs.

"Why were they asking about Lonnie, Jay?" I asked after a moment.

"Lonnie was murdered last night," Jay admitted. "They think I did it."

"So when they were asking all of those questions…" I trailed, finally catching on.

"That was Internal Affairs trying to get an alibi," Jay finished for me.

Well, shit.


	9. Because I'm (Happy)

BECAUSE I'M HAPPY

It was a long day after that. Jay was in and out, meeting with whoever he could, trying to figure out what happened. He explained to me he already talked to Mr. Corson, but that he was clean. It had been a long time since I had seen my brother this disheveled.

"Jay," I whispered from the hallway. I had spent most of the afternoon in my room, watching choreography videos and doing my best to distract myself. There were a lot of unknowns with this situation and it was freaking me out.

"What's up, Grace?" Jay asked me, turning from his spot on the couch. He had been closely examining something, but I couldn't tell what it was.

"Is this going to mess up the custody agreement between you and Dad? Am I going to have to go home?" I questioned.

"No, Gracie," Jay shook his head and stood up, quickly closing the space between us. "This is your home. You're not going anywhere."

"What if they tell Social Services?" I asked.

"This isn't an investigation on you, it's on me, and I'm going to figure it out," Jay said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "This will pass."

"Okay," I resigned, not completely convinced, but feeling a little better. "I guess I'm just going to go to bed now," I told him.

"Did you want to watch a movie or something?" Jay offered, picking up on the idea that I didn't really want to be alone right now. Even so, I knew he wanted to go back to whatever he was doing and that was more important right now.

"I'll be fine, Jay," I feigned a smile. "It's just been a long day."

"Okay. I'll be out here if you need anything," Jay promised, squeezing my shoulder. "Good night, Grace."

"Good night, Jay," I told him and retreated back to my bedroom.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to the sound of pots and pans in the kitchen. I was confused because I knew Jay had been up drinking last night and I expected nothing except a passed-out Jay on the couch. I rubbed my eyes and wobbled my way out into the hallway.

"How'd you sleep?" Jay greeted me once I made it to the kitchen, flopping down in one of the chairs.

"Better than you, or at least I thought," I mumbled, still groggy from waking up. "You seem chipper this morning," I pointed out. The sparkle in his eye was back.

"It was a long night," Jay answered with a shrug. "Eggs okay?"

"Sure," I nodded. "What happened?"

"Do you have a lot of homework?" Jay asked, completely ignoring my question.

"I did most of it already," I lied – well, kind of. I didn't really have that much to begin with, so it was going to be easy enough for me to do it later.

"Did you apply to St. Ignatius yet?" Jay continued, catching me off guard.

"I didn't realize my application to St. Ignatius was on your radar…" I trailed, confused.

"You're always on my radar," Jay smiled, plopping my eggs on a plate and sliding it over. "We can work on it now, if you want."

"You don't have to run off anywhere?"

"Not until this afternoon," Jay explained, taking a bite of his own breakfast.

"So you're innocent, then? You didn't kill Lonnie?" I tried to swing back to my earlier question. If he was still a suspect for murder, he wouldn't be so relaxed.

"I didn't kill Lonnie," Jay winked. "I told you I was going to take care of it."

"Dork," I mumbled under my breath.

"Doofus," Jay coughed.

* * *

A week later and it was like none of it had ever happened. My dance team was one of the groups performing at the race against Cancer outside of the hospital and it was beautiful out.

"Are you ready to run?" I teased Zak. He was running as a representative from the studio. Brooke was here as well, but she was going to hang out with us until our performance time.

"Grace!" I heard someone shout above the crowd. I looked up to see Gabby and gave her a smile and a wave.

"Hi guys," I ran over to where Matt and Gabby were standing. "Oh, hey Officer Burgess," I greeted, recognizing that she was there as well.

"Please, you know you can call me Kim," Office Burgess – Kim – told me. "What are you doing here?"

"My dance team is going to perform in a little bit and my dance coach is actually running in the 5k. Some of us decided to come early and cheer him on," I explained.

"That explains all the makeup," Gabby teased, pulling at my ponytail. "I _know_ Jay didn't do any of this."

"He just about had a stroke when I left the house this morning," I laughed, remembering the look on his face. "I don't think he realized that all of this was part of the package," I gestured to my face.

"I can't say I blame him," Matt chuckled. "What time is your performance? Maybe we can sneak out and watch."

"Um…12:00 I think," I answered. "I know I have to be back at the tent by 11:30, so it should be around then sometime."

"Sounds like a plan," Matt high-fived.

"Thank you!" I high-fived him back. "Are you running, Gabby?" I asked her. She nodded.

"I still have to go register, but we're going to finish putting the tents up first," Gabby mentioned. They had barely started setting up.

"Makes sense," I smiled. "Well, I guess I'll see you all later!" I called as I walked away, back towards where my team was. It was a little chilly, so we were all huddled in sweatshirts and blankets.

"This blows," Rebecca complained. "Let's get this whole thing over with."

"Stop being so negative," Another girl, Kelly, argued with her. "It's for a good cause and it's good publicity for Zak and Brooke."

I ignored them and started playing games on my phone. Rebecca was right, it was cold and boring, but complaining did nothing to help anyone. The 5k was for cancer research, which was an important cause to me, and us being out here was free publicity for Zak and Brooke. There was really nothing to complain about.

"Grace!" I heard a little girl shout and I looked up from my phone to see not one, but two little girls running towards me. "Are you Grace?" The blonde one asked.

"That is me," I answered carefully. I had no idea who these kids were.

"My aunt Kim is a Police Officer, and she says you're a real dancer," the brunette stated, putting her hands on her hips. The blonde little girl nodded along as if she knew all of the secrets of the world. It was really cute.

"Well, Police Officers weren't trained to be liars, were they?" I smirked. "Of course I'm a real dancer," I chuckled. "What are your names?"

"My name is Zoey," the girl who said she was Kim's niece declared.

"And I'm Imogene," the blonde girl laughed, smiling at her friend. I couldn't help but smile too, as the girls were so contagiously happy. It was a welcome change to the earlier sour mood.

Well, at least until we got knocked to the ground by a bomb.


	10. I Am Here, Here I Am

I AM HERE, HERE I AM

 _Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. This definitely isn't going to be good for my head._

"Girls?" I heard someone call from above me. I blinked my eyes open to a scene of chaos. There were a lot of people screaming and my head was pounding. I clasped my hands to my ears, but I couldn't get the ringing to stop. Everyone was bleeding.

"Girls, can you hear me? Are you hurt?" I sat up and saw Matt run over to Zoey, who was complaining that her tummy hurt. There was another guy with us, trying to help Imogene.

"Hey, what's your name?" Matt asked him.

"Vaughn," the guy answered.

"Okay, Vaughn, I need you to go run around to the other side of the hospital and see if the ICU is intact, okay?" Before Vaughn could answer, he was passed out, and Kim was running over to us, followed by another woman. While they were focused on the kids, I looked around.

"I can go, Matt," I told him. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"What?" He asked.

"I can go," I repeated. "I'm fine, nothing hurts and the ringing stopped," I lied. "I'm fast, I'll go."

"No, Grace, we have to stay together," Zak coughed, coming over. "We need to get you all out of here."

"Is everyone okay?" I turned to my teammates.

"Triage is going to be in the tent!" I heard Matt yell.

"Okay, if you can walk, go to the tent!" Zak repeated to everyone.

"Zak, let me help," I begged him. It wasn't in my nature to just sit and watch people.

"You are thirteen and currently my responsibility," Zak coughed again. "You just got back after recovering from a concussion. You're getting your head checked in triage and then you're staying there until your brother comes to pick you up."

"My brother's a police officer, he's never going to be able to pick me up," I mumbled.

"Then you're stuck with me, come on," Zak insisted. "You can help Rebecca, I don't think she can walk," he whispered to me, and I nodded.

"Hey, Rebecca," I crouched down beside her. "We've got to get out of here."

"I can't feel my legs, Gracie," Rebecca cried. It was the first time I had ever seen her so scared. I looked down, and figured out why. Rebecca's leg was more blood than flesh.

"You're going to be okay," I grabbed her hand. I wasn't equipped for this. Zak was right, I was just thirteen. I didn't want to watch my friends die today. "We're going to get you to triage and you're going to be okay."

I tried to help Rebecca up, but she just started screaming. I couldn't do this on my own.

"The fire department just showed up," I smiled, hearing the sirens. "Someone will come and get us, okay?"

"Those little girls, are they going to be okay?" Rebecca mumbled. She was losing too much blood.

"Imogene's sister was there," I nodded. "She's a doctor. They're going to be fine."

"Am I going to die?" Rebecca asked me. I shook my head.

"No way," I promised her. "But we've got to find a way to get you out of here."

I looked around, trying to find someone who could help. Most people were preoccupied with their own injuries, and anyone who could help was already assisting someone. It was a nightmare. I saw the fire trucks pull up and saw the familiar 81 and took my chance.

"Rebecca, I've got to go," I told her. "I'm going to be right back."

"Please don't leave me!" She cried, gripping my hand.

"I have to, I have to go get help," I tried to get her to let go. "If Zak realizes we aren't with him, he'll come back and find you. I promise I will be right back."

"Hurry," she begged.

"Matt!" I yelled, seeing him with his truck. I didn't know anyone else at the firehouse very well, so I was hoping he would be here.

"Gracie, I thought you were with your coach, what are you doing?" He yelled while another firefighter helped him get his gear on.

"He moved some girls to triage. My friend's leg is really bad and I can't move her on my own, I need help. I think she's going to die," I admitted, wiping the tears off of my face.

"Okay, okay, um…" Matt looked around, unsure of what to do. I knew this was taking him away from helping other people, but I didn't really care about other people right now.

"I got her, Matt," One of the paramedics said, coming over. "You're Jay's sister, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Gabby talks about you all the time," she smiled. "I'm Shay, let's go find your friend."

"Okay, thank you," I nodded and we took off.

* * *

"Grace, thank God," Zak said once I made it with Rebecca and Shay back to triage. Shay placed a tourniquet on Rebecca's leg. I knew what that meant, she was going to lose it. I looked around, trying to count how many girls we had that were safe. I only counted myself, Rebecca, Kelly, and Margot. There were six of us this morning.

"Okay, Grace, Kelly, and Margot come here," Zak directed. "If you feel sick at all, you tell me, okay?" We all nodded. "In the meantime, sit in this corner and do not move. I don't care if you see a friend or family member or anyone, you do not move, you hear me?" Zak directed. "Do any of you have your phones?" We all shook our heads. Mine got busted in the explosion.

"Okay, it's okay. Just don't move," Zak pushed again before he ran off.

"Who didn't make it?" I whispered to Kelly. She had clearly been crying.

"Bethany," she choked and Margot pulled her into a hug.

"How's Rebecca?" Margot asked.

"She's going to lose her leg," I mumbled, picking at some dirt. People were still screaming and running everywhere.

"This sucks," Margot shook her head.

"Yes, it does."

* * *

"Alright, everybody, I need to know if a Grace Halstead is here!" A man shouted. "Does anyone know where I can find a Grace Halstead?"

"I'm right here," I groaned, getting up and walking over to where the man was yelling. "Who are you?"

"I'm with the Chicago Police Department, you need to come with me," he explained, showing me his badge.

"Jay?" I questioned.

"If that is the persuasive detective who told me to come find you then yes, Jay," the officer answered.

"Let me just go sign out with my coach and we'll go," I told the officer. "Where did Zak go?" I asked Kelly.

"They found Hannah, it isn't good," she answered.

"Okay, well, if you see Zak tell him I'm with my brother, he just got here."

"Okay," she nodded.

"Let's go," I told the officer. I felt a lot better knowing Jay was here.

* * *

"Jay!" I called out once I spotted him huddled with the firefighters. It looked like they were being briefed on the situation.

"Jay, it's Grace," I heard Erin tell him, tapping him on the shoulder. His eyes locked with mine and he held his arms out.

"Are you okay, are you hurt? How's your head?" Jay asked, checking me over.

"I've got dirt in a thousand places, but I'm okay," I told him. "A nurse in triage checked me out and I got a yellow tag so I guess I'm fine."

"Good," he held me tight, then pointed back to the officer. "This is Officer Nettles, he's going to take you home."

"Jay, I want to stay here," I complained. Now that I was safe with my brother, I didn't want to leave him again.

"I'm not asking, Grace. He's taking you home and he's staying with you so don't run away," Jay directed. "I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Please, Jay, I really just want to stay with you," I whispered, gripping Jay tighter. Instantly, I went from thirteen-year-old power house to five-year-old baby.

"Sweetie," Erin knelt down. "I know this is scary, but there is a lot going on. You're safe, but there are a lot of people who aren't. Jay needs you home where you can stay safe so that he can do his job."

I sighed, knowing she was right. "Okay," I mumbled.

"Good girl," Jay patted. "I promise I'll be home soon," he told me. "Behave, please."

"I will," I grumbled, and let Officer Nettles take me to a nearby cruiser.

* * *

"Thanks, man," I heard Jay whisper to Officer Nettles. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep on the couch watching the news. Neither of us had been able to tear ourselves away from the TV since this morning when Jay sent me home. He offered to play a game or something, apparently, he had kids, too, but I declined. There was too much loss today to do anything fun.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," Jay nudged me, seeing my eyes flutter open. He sat down next to me and rubbed my legs. "How are you holding up?"

"Eighteen people died today," I whispered. "That's what the news said. Bethany was one of them," I started crying. "And those girls…" I remembered seeing Imogene's face on the news, she died too. It had been back and forth all day. Tears, no tears. Tears, no tears.

"Today was tough," Jay agreed, sighing. "I thought about it this morning when I let you out of the house with that clown makeup on, but now I think I've made a decision."

"And what is that?" I leaned up, interested to hear what Jay had in store for me.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again," Jay squeezed my leg. I feigned a smile.

"Honestly after today, I'd be okay with that," I nodded, maneuvering myself so my head was on Jay's lap now. "I needed you today."

Jay ran his hands through his hair. "So did the rest of Chicago, Gracie," he said after a moment. "I needed to do my job."

"I know," I nodded. "I just…I needed you too."

"I'm here now," Jay ran his fingers through my hair, braiding a section of it. "Close your eyes, Gracie," he whispered. "I'm here now."


	11. Use Your Head

USE YOUR HEAD

 _9\. Protect your hands by…_

 _a. Dulling the teeth._

 _b. Dragging the teeth on the backstroke._

 _c. Using a vise._

 _d. Installing a handle._

 _e. Wearing safety gloves._

It was d. The answer was d. After five hours, I was finally done with this godforsaken test. All of these rich kids taking this test like their father owns the company itself, staring at me as if they know I don't belong here.

"Thank you all for coming, you are now dismissed," the teacher explained. Everyone quickly grabbed their bags and rushed out of the room. I took my time. If I didn't pass this test, I didn't know what I was going to do. All Erin and I talked about lately was St. Ignatius and Jay was so happy, even if he didn't say anything. I didn't want to be a disappointment.

"Thank you," I murmured to the teacher on the way out. She smiled, telling me to have a good day as I walked out of the door. I was supposed to use a school phone to call Jay to come pick me up once I was done, but I was too embarrassed to ask. I already felt like I didn't belong, I didn't want to make matters worse by letting the world know I didn't have a cellphone. It was only a half a mile walk, anyways. I had done much worse before.

* * *

"There she is!" Trudy greeted me when I walked in. "I was wondering when I would see your shining face in my station," she smiled. After our first few encounters, I quickly became one of the few people Trudy showed her soft side to. If Jay wasn't around and I got tired of the break room, I would come down and talk with her.

"Not soon enough," I smiled back. "Can you buzz me up?" I asked her.

"Of course," she said, waiting until I was at the gate and then hitting the button. I heard the familiar buzz and I opened the gate, walking upstairs.

"Hey, Gracie!" Adam called, announcing my entrance to everyone. I was hoping I could just sneak in, but that was not the case. As soon as Jay looked up from his desk, I knew I was in deep shit.

"Grace, breakroom."

"It's a tough case," Erin whispered to me as I walked by.

* * *

"What in the _world_ makes you think it's okay to just walk here by yourself?" Jay started in on me right when I walked in. "No phone, no friends, what happened to calling me? Huh? Were you even using your head, or did it just fall off after the test?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I didn't want to fight with him.

"I'm sorry, is that all you can say? You're not with Dad anymore, Grace, you need to follow my rules now, you know this," Jay continued. "What were you thinking?"

I didn't say anything, which I knew was making Jay even angrier. I didn't have anything to say, really. I should have called him and I didn't. This one was on me and I knew it would be. I just wanted the riot act to be finished.

Jay got down on my level and his eyes reached mine. "I love you," he said, pulling me into a hug. "I love you, and I know, I _know_ it's hard for you to get what that means, but I _need_ you to follow my rules. I _need_ you to be safe. There is a whole world of stuff that I am trying to protect you from and I can't do that if you are off wandering the streets of Chicago when I think you're at school."

"I was embarrassed," I admitted. "Everyone else just left after the test because they had rides or phones or plans. I was by myself. I knew they thought I didn't belong there and I didn't want to make it worse by asking to use a school phone."

"I'm going to get you a new phone, Grace, I told you that. I also told you that if you went to St. Ignatius, that kids were going to treat you differently because you're from the south side. I know you've talked to Erin about it, too. It doesn't mean you go off on your own. It's not safe, baby."

"I know, I'm sorry," I apologized for a third time.

"My job, Grace…there's a lot of bad people out there," Jay sighed, sitting in one of the chairs and pinching his nose. "I'm sorry I blew up at you. This case…there's a lot on the line here."

"Is it about a kid?" I asked. He was usually more on edge when it involved kids.

"No, it's about…" Jay started, but shook his head and stopped, thinking harder about what he was about to say. "Look, Grace, I don't want to scare you, but it's about a guy that could cause us big trouble if he knew you were walking around the streets of Chicago by yourself, never mind without a phone."

"I didn't mean to make you worry," I told him, taking his hand. "You're right, I just didn't use my head. I thought it was only a half a mile and I had done worse before and that once you saw I was here you would be fine and-"

"Grace," Jay chuckled, warming up a little. "I get it. I grew up in Canaryville, too. But you're not there anymore, you're here. St. Ignatius is the first part of that. You're a good kid and you _are_ smart. You just gotta learn how to do what you're told, you knucklehead," he teased, pulling me into a headlock and giving me a noogie.

"Jay, cut it out!" I squealed, laughing. Jay laughed too, but released me.

"How did the test go?" He asked.

"I think it went well," I nodded. "I feel good about it. The tutoring from Kim helped," I pointed out. After the bombing incident, Kim and I became a lot closer. Zoey insisted on helping with Imogene's services, which meant Kim also pitched in and I felt obligated to as well. It was a tragedy that such a young and beautiful girl didn't make it.

"Good. Did you figure out who you want to ask to write your letters yet?" Jay asked.

"Mr. Johnson and Zak already said they would, but I was thinking of also asking Erin, since she's an alumn. Do you think she'd say yes? I know she doesn't know me that well, but like-"

"I think she'll be thrilled," Jay chuckled.

"Awesome," I smiled, right before loud pops came from nearby. My panicked eyes caught Jay's and he already had his hand on his holster, ready for action.

"Stay here, do not move!" He ordered me.

"Jay," I protested, but he interrupted.

"Stay!" He yelled and was out the door.


	12. Antonio

ANTONIO

As soon as Jay left, I ran for the window, shoving anything in my way off to the side. I saw the parade of cruisers and officers, all running and shouting, but telling me nothing. I grew up on the south side of Chicago; I knew what gun shots sounded like. My only comfort was knowing it wasn't Jay, but I prayed that it wasn't anyone else I had come to know and love during my time here.

"Grace, we've got to go," Jay insisted, grabbing my backpack when I didn't move quickly enough.

"Who was it?" I stared at him. I could tell just from the look on his face that someone got hurt.

"Antonio," he said. "Come on, we've got to get to the hospital. Erin's going to drive us."

"Okay," I whispered, absentmindedly following Jay down the stairs and out of the district. He led me to a car in the back lot where Erin was impatiently waiting. She looked at me with sad eyes before starting the car and pulling away. I tapped my foot nervously and looked out the window.

"Don't go that way," I heard Jay whisper to Erin. She nodded and took a left instead of a right, which was the fastest way to the hospital, but passed right through the mass of police cars and response vehicles.

* * *

"My dad's going to live, right?" Eva asked, picking nervously at her shirt. I felt terrible for her. I knew all too well what it was like to be in her situation and it sucked for everyone involved. I didn't know much about what happened to Antonio, but I knew that strength and love were huge factors in recovery, and he had a lot of both.

"They won't let anything happen to him," I squeezed her hand. "Your dad's one of the toughest guys I know," I tried to smile. "He's going to be fine."

"I don't know what I would do without him," Eva cried.

"Don't go there, Eva," I warned her. "You can't go there. He's going to come out of this stronger than ever, you'll see."

"Hey guys," Erin walked over with the same sad look on her face. Jay was with her and I instantly shrank into him. "How are you doing?"

"I just want to see my dad," Diego mumbled as he wiped a few tears from his eyes. I looked over at Jay.

"That bad guy who's giving you trouble…" I whispered, trailing off. "Did he do this?"

Jay sighed, "Don't worry about that, Grace."

"Jay," I pushed.

"Grace, as long as you do as you're told for once in your life," he teased, "you'll be fine. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"But I need to not be a pain in the ass," I smirked.

"Exactly," Jay nudged. "Promise me you'll stay here with Eva? She needs a friend right now."

"I'll be here," I promised him. He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "I will!"

"Good," Jay smirked, finally convinced. "Kim and Kevin are staying too so if you need anything, you ask them, and be respectful to the Dawsons. I'll be back to pick you up as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too, Gracie."

* * *

"What are you thinking about, kid?" Kevin turned to look at me. Laura, Eva, and Diego were in with Antonio and it was just Kevin, Kim, and I. Laura offered to take me in, but I didn't want to be a pest. This wasn't about me.

"It's not fair," I complained, sitting up in my chair.

"What do you mean?" Kevin asked, pushing. I looked up at him.

"Antonio's a great dad. Eva and Diego love him and he's always been great to me, even before he knew I was Jay's sister. He doesn't deserve this, even if he is a cop."

"He's going to pull through, Grace," Kevin assured me.

"I know," I nodded, scratching my arm as a distraction. "I know."

"So who do you wish was lying in his place?" Kevin deducted.

"No one," I mumbled.

"Come on now, I'm a better cop than that," Kevin chuckled. "You wish it was your dad, don't you?"

"If he was dead I would never have to worry about going back there," I whispered.

"You know Jay would never let that happen," Kevin attempted to reassure me. "You know, I've got custody of my siblings. It's not something I advertise, but I do know a thing or two about custody arrangements. You're never going to have to go back there if you don't want to."

"I really don't want to talk about this right now," I cut him off, noticing that Eva and Diego were coming back.

"Well, anytime you want to, I'm here," Kevin sighed, standing up to give Diego his seat. As he moved to the hallway, Trudy came in. They spoke for a few moments before she walked towards us and handed some bags of food to Laura. Eventually, she sat down next to Diego and faced him and Eva.

"You know, I've known your dad a long time," she sighed. "We were in the same patrol unit back when he was a rookie. We went on this call one time, chased this dealer into a crack house…he shot at us through the door with a 12-gauge. I got hit in the hip and went down and this bad guy, he would have finished me off, but your dad, he ran over and picked me up."

"He carried you?" Eva asked, not believing her dad could carry Trudy. I chuckled a little.

"He did," Trudy confirmed, glaring at me. "I was a little thinner back then. So, they plucked the buckshot out of me and they stuck me behind a desk. But if it wasn't for your dad…" she let the end of her story trail off, assuming we all knew what she insinuated.

It sucked, knowing that in this job, people got hurt. Jay had been shot before and probably would be again. Trudy had been shot, apparently, and now Antonio. Jules died because of a gunshot. Still, the same people who risked their lives were knowingly doing so in order to protect the ones they loved.

* * *

"Thanks for keeping an eye on her, guys," Jay whispered, leaning down next to me and waking me up.

"Jay?" I rubbed my eyes. I wasn't sure what time it was and it took me a moment to remember I was at the hospital.

"Hey," he smiled. "I'm gonna go check on Antonio, have you been in to see him yet?" I shook my head no.

"I didn't want to be a pest," I explained. Laura had been in and out with Eva and Diego for most of the day and I wanted to let them be. I had no problem playing cards with the various cops that were also coming in and out.

"Do you want to come in with me?" He asked. I nodded, pulling my ratty black sweatshirt back on and sitting up. "Come on," Jay sighed, helping me up from my seat.

It was a long walk to Antonio's room, longer than I imagined it to be. I tried my best to look away from other patients in the ICU and even Jay had to redirect my attention a few times. I hated hospitals. People died in hospitals.

"In here," Jay informed me, pointing to a room I almost walked right past. I took a quick turn, but stopped when I entered. Antonio was sleeping, well, at least it looked like he was. He was all bandaged up with tubes sticking out of him. It wasn't anything I hadn't seen before, but it was difficult to see such a tough guy like Antonio looking so weak.

"It's okay," I heard Jay whisper behind me. "Just be quiet."

"I'm up," Antonio coughed, smiling when he saw me. "Laura told me you were here; I was wondering when I'd see your baby blues." I didn't have an answer for him, so I just shrugged.

"How are you doing?" Jay asked, walking right over to the bed and in Antonio's face.

"I'm dying of thirst," Antonio complained, nodding towards a cup on the side table. Jay got the hint and helped him take a sip of the water. He looked like he was struggling and it hurt to watch.

"Hey," Jay comforted. "We got him."

"I didn't see it on the news," Antonio said, confused.

"I'm not sure you will," Jay insinuated.

"Oh," Antonio nodded, then turned to look at me, then back at Jay. Jay got the hint; Antonio was going to say something he didn't want me to hear.

"Grace, find us something to watch," Jay ordered. I rolled my eyes and found the remote, quickly hiding whatever it was they were talking about. Antonio and Jay were similar in that sense, he was always trying to protect me from any police stuff.

They talked for barely a minute, but did a good job of hiding whatever it was they were talking about. I could only get every other word or so over the sound of the TV.

"Really?" Jay turned to look back at me, smirking when he realized my chosen channel had Sesame Street playing. I shrugged.

"You told me to find something to watch," I defended. "I'm illiterate."

"That explains why you never answer my texts," Jay teased. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Hey now, you better be behaving little Halstead," Antonio croaked out. "I don't need you corrupting my daughter."

"Hey!" I complained. "I'm not _that_ bad!"

"No, you're perfect," Jay wrapped his arm around me. "What do you say we get you home and fed, huh?"

"You're in for the night?" I questioned, unconvinced.

"Yeah, maybe we can even watch Sesame Street so you can do your homework," Jay chuckled.

"Thanks for stopping by, brother," Antonio told Jay. " _Adios_ , Gracie."

" _Adios_ , Antonio. Feel better," I waved to him on the way out.


	13. Let Me Help You

LET ME HELP YOU

"How was school today?" Jay asked as soon as I got into his car. Erin wasn't with him, which was kind of surprising.

"Fine," I told him. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"Good, fine," Jay mocked me, reciting my daily response to his question.

"What do you want me to say, I beat up some kid on the playground? I got an A on a math test? I bit one of my teachers?" I teased him. He rolled his eyes.

"That second better be the only real scenario out of those three," Jay warned.

"I think if I bit my teacher at thirteen years old we would both have a problem," I laughed. He nodded.

"Where's Erin?" I questioned after a moment, nonchalantly gazing out the window so he didn't feel pressured.

"Yeah, uh, she's at the station," Jay answered quickly. "Which by the way, you have a homework buddy for the day," he pointed out.

"Who?" I questioned. "Eva?"

"No, a young woman named Nadia. Erin's taking her under her wing. She's been at the station most of the afternoon and Erin's taking her home after shift. She seems nice enough, but she's got a story, so be careful," Jay warned. I nodded.

"We all have a story, Jay," I reminded him. If everyone believed what was in my file, I would never get anywhere in life. Everyone deserved a chance to prove themselves.

* * *

The first thing I noticed about Nadia was her eyes. They were a vivacious brown, full of desperation. A desperation to be liked and welcomed, things I knew all too well.

"It's really nice to meet you, Grace," Nadia smiled. After Erin and Jay were satisfied there weren't going to be any issues, they left us to talk amongst ourselves.

"Thanks, you too," I nodded. She was friendlier than I expected. Jay was overprotective, sure, but he made her seem like she was this terrible person when she was really just a scared girl like me.

"Erin told me I should try and help you with your homework because you need to keep your grades up. You're going to some fancy school next year, right?"

"Something like that," I sighed. "Erin and Jay both want to get me out of the school I'm in now, but it's causing some problems. I'm smart enough to get in, but I don't know if I'm St. Ignatius material, if you know what I mean," I explained. Nadia just nodded along.

"We all have to prove ourselves at one point or another," Nadia advised. "From what I've heard, you'll do just fine."

"How much of today has been spent talking about me?" I questioned, hesitant to know the answer.

"They really love having you here, Grace," Nadia smiled. "Especially Erin. I can tell she has a soft spot for you."

"Well, you know us girls have to stick together up here," I smiled back. "It looks like our dynamic duo just grew into the three Musketeers," I chuckled. She held out her fist.

"Hell yes," she smiled. "Now let's get down to some homework."

* * *

I didn't sleep well that night. I would close my eyes and just when I thought I would drift off, some bad memory popped up. I had been having more nightmares lately, more than I cared to admit, but I didn't want to tell Jay. Between the bombing, Antonio getting shot, the ever-lingering threat of my dad, and even the pressure to get into St. Ignatius, I just was having a lot of trouble handling everything.

I looked over at my clock again – _2:33_. The red numbers were screaming at me to go back to sleep, but my mind was screaming at me to stay awake. I closed my eyes and tried one more time to fall asleep before giving up and going to watch TV. Needless to say, it wasn't long before Jay heard and came out of his bedroom.

"Grace, what are you doing up?" He asked, rubbing his eyes and flicking the light on.

"I couldn't sleep," I mumbled from underneath my pile of blankets I stole from my bed.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He questioned, walking over to sit down in front of me. He felt my forehead and pushed some of my hair out of my face. I shook my head.

"Can't have nightmares if you don't sleep," I pointed out. Jay sighed and sat back, taking a glance at the clock. I felt bad. I didn't want my sleepless night to end up being a burden on him. I should have just suffered alone in my bedroom.

"Grace, I think we need to get you to talk to someone," Jay finally spoke.

"I don't need a shrink," I argued. I wasn't fine, but I didn't want to add a shrink to my problems.

"You know I'm the last person that would ever suggest this, but I think it would help. You need someone you can talk to about everything that's been going on. I can ask around, see who people recommend-"

"No," I interrupted.

"Grace," Jay huffed. He sounded just like Dad when he did that. "You need help. You aren't sleeping, you're having nightmares, you hardly eat anything, and I'm pretty sure the only reason you are doing so well in school is because you're afraid of not getting accepted into St. I's. Am I wrong?"

"No," I mumbled, shrinking back into my blankets. Damned cop brother.

"If I called Will, what would he say?"

"I don't care what he would say, he isn't here," I pushed. Will didn't get to be brought into this. He probably didn't care anyway.

"Just try it. For me," Jay rubbed my back. "Please, Grace. Let me try to help you."

"Fine," I conceded. I didn't have a choice in the matter anyway.

"Good. Now that that's settled, how are we going to get you to fall asleep?" Jay prodded, lifting me into a sitting position and sitting back down under me so that my head was on a pillow on his lap.

"'Dunno," I shrugged. Jay fiddled with the clicker before finding some random movie on the TV.

"Close your eyes and let's watch this for a bit. If you fall asleep, I'll carry you back to bed, okay?" Jay offered. I nodded. He adjusted my blanket and continued to rub my back. It wasn't long after that I was able to finally relax and disappear into dreamland.

 **A/N: Hi everyone, thank you so much for your patience. I've been having massive writer's block (nevermind difficulty finding the time to write) and it has been hard for me to update. I do plan on continuing this story and we will be jumping into season 2 soon! I hope you all enjoy! Peace!**


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